A Bit of Fun

Pie-in-the-sky thinking can be fun, and today's Slashdot had an article asking the membership, "What Would You Do as President?"

Well, gosh, where do I start?

• An immediate and orderly withdrawl of all US armed forces from Iraq, with phased redeployment to Afghanistan to disband (again!) the Taliban and pursue and apprehend Osama bin Laden.
• Once withdrawl from Iraq is complete, sever all ties and contracts with Blackwater unless and until they agree to be held accountable under uniform military code for all actions in the field.
• "The continued reliance on foreign sources for the nation's energy needs constitutes a clear and present danger to the national security of the United States." In other words, the development of non-oil, non-foreign energy sources shall become a matter of national security. Such development shall not involve armed occupation or conquest of foreign lands or peoples.
• No legislation that attempts to place final responsibility for Big Shitpile at the feet of the American taxpayer shall be allowed to pass (i.e. no Federal bailout for the sub-prime mortgage mess).
• Draft legislation repealing No Child Left Behind.
• Draft legislation that repeals, in its entirety, 17 U.S.C. § 1201.
• Draft legislation that formally declares as invalid the reprehensible practice of End-User License Agreements.
• Draft legislation decriminalizing marijuana, regulating (and taxing) it in a manner similar to tobacco, and establish duties for its import from foreign soil. Redirect funds used for interdiction and prosecution toward health care. Study closely the decriminalization of other drugs.
• Draft legislation requiring public disclosure of source code used in all electronic voting systems.
• Draft legislation requiring the use of openly-documented electronic document and data formats in all Federal operations. Commercial closed-source products may be used to produce said documents, but the documents may only contain those features/facilities laid out in the open standards.
• Draft legislation permitting public entities (municipal, state, and Federal) to own and freely operate telecommunications networks, with service available to all Citizens.
• Draft legislation re-establishing the Estate Tax, with the floor at $5 million, inflation-adjusted.
• Draft legislation that formally ends "corporate personhood." This status of corporations is actually a legal fiction, ensconsed neither in the courts nor the legislature, but it seems a formal repudiation is required to end this myth.
• Sharply reduce or end Federal subsidies of corn crops.
• Allow Bush's tax cuts for the rich to expire.
• Reform the Alternative Minimum Tax to adjust for inflation. Consider also adjustments based on a geographic area's prevailing cost of living.
• Dissolve the Department of Homeland Security back into its original constituent Departments. Draft legislation permitting said Departments to more freely share information with each other in accordance with Constitutional principles.
• Keep NSA and CIA funding at current, inflation-adjusted levels.
• Abolish the practice of National Security Letters. Declassify and order the immediate disclosure of all National Security Letters issued to date. (Amnesty for unlawful acts revealed in the Letters may be negotiable, providing disclosure is timely and complete.)
• Increase (modestly) the military budget to raise soldiers' pay, provide quality post-combat medical care, and rebuild resources squandered in Iraq.
• End "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Order Armed Forces branches to admit and integrate homosexuals into their ranks (it worked for African Americans).
• Repudiate and/or abolish the section of the Military Commissions Act that purports to eliminate Habeus Corpus. That right is established Constitutionally, and is immune to legislative attempts to limit or abolish it.
• Order the commanders at Guantánamo Bay to, within eight calendar months, prepare and file charges against all detainees still in their custody. At the end of that time, for all those detainees still not formally charged, they are to be released immediately to their country of origin, with our profound apologies. (The appropriateness and nature of reparations may be discussed later.)
• The practice of Extraordinary Rendition shall be halted immediately, pending comprehensive Executive and Congressional review. Persons currently detained under the program are to be returned to their country of origin or, where a reasonable belief of criminality exists, turned over to the appropriate law enforcement agency.
• Recommit ourselves to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaties. Seriously review the technology sharing agreements with Pakistan.
• Convene a Blue Ribbon Panel/Study Group/Research Program/whatever they like to call it composed of top independent economists, sociologists, and anthropologists to examine the implications of digital media (i.e. unlimited duplication/manufacturing at zero cost by any actor, anywhere) on current economic structures and assumptions, and to devise new structures to accommodate these realities going forward.
• Appoint Al Gore as Secretary of the Interior.
• Reform sex education -- abstinence shall be but one of many options disclosed to students.
• Restore the FCC's "equal-time" rule.
• Completely overhaul the US Patent Office. Fire all top-level personnel for gross misfeasance and non-feasance. Re-draft all examination and approval standards and practices. Draft legislation that prohibits it being considered as a "profit center" for budgetary purposes. Consider abolishing the presumption of patent validity assumed by courts when adjudicating patent disputes.
• Close the Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives.
• Read the Koran from cover to cover.
• Read the Tao te Ching from cover to cover.
• Read the Torah from cover to cover.
• Read the Bible from cover to cover.

With respect to the economy, I don't personally see a lot the Fed can do to jumpstart things. We can't order industry around. However, we have a shitload of maintenance work that needs doing, and I'd be inclined to explore a vast public works project that would repair bridges and roads, repair and possibly expand rail lines, repair and improve aqueducts, harden the electrical grid, and so on. This might make a decent domestic jobs program. You can't outsource the plumber...

Also fun, but somewhat less realistic, would be the development of space-based energy platforms, such as giant solar arrays. This would require significant advances in materials science, which could be facilitated by government-sponsored research.

I see the immigration "problem" as largely a red herring, with everyone talking about deporting illegals, but everyone conveniently failing to mention that the crushing majority of agricultural workers are illegal immigrants, because they work cheaper than the natives. And no one but no one is talking about raising farm wages...

Health care is a big problem, but I don't think anyone's properly identified the precise nature of the problem and its causes (I have my own pet theories, of course). I distrust socialized medicine, mostly at a gut level; but neither do I trust the Republican tack that the free market will work things out. The fact that health care is so ruinously expensive stands as proof that the market is broken. I imagine millions of people would cringe to hear it, but I would want more study of the problem, principally so I could better understand the structure of the current (broken) system.

Hopelessly radical but nevertheless valuable ideas include:

• Draft a proposal for the incorporation of religious education into public schooling. Such education is to take the form of a non-sectarian, objective overview of all major world religions, including their historical and sociological origins, their central figures and prophets, and their central articles of Faith and Mysteries. Faiths covered may include, but are not limited to:
  • Christianity, with major sub-sects (Catholic, Lutheran, Greek Orthodox, Presbyterian, Church of England/Anglican, Southern Baptist, etc.)
  • Judaism
  • Islam
  • Hinduism
  • Buddhism
  • Taoism
  • Greek Pantheon
  • Deism
  • Agnosticism/Atheism
• Draft a proposal for the teaching of critical thinking in public schooling. Sub-disciplines should include statistics, logic, rhetoric, and debate.
• Repudiate and withdraw from the WIPO Treaties.
• End the embargoes and formally recognize Cuba. Establish diplomatic mission.
• Explore mandatory public service for all citizens, between the ages 18 - 26. This does not necessarily mean military service.
• The Great De-Crufting Act: All Federal legislation that has been struck down by SCOTUS is hereby repealed.

The following is truly beyond the pale, and I don't seriously believe for one instant anyone could (or should) get away with it. But it's still fun to think about:

• The following persons are hereby declared as unlawful enemy combatants:
  • George W. Bush
  • Richard B. Cheney
  • Karl C. Rove
  • Alberto R. Gonzales
  • William J. O'Reilly
  • Ann H. Coulter
  • William Kristol
  • Thomas L. Friedman (to be detained for a term of six months, with a sliding start date)

So, that's me. What are your thoughts?

Update 2008.01.14 23:30: A reader pointed out offline that the President traditionally does not draft legislation, that privilege being reserved to members of Congress. So above, wherever it says, "draft legislation," substitute, "propose legislation."